of your eyes, begonia skies

if i've learnt anything at all these past two years, i think it'll be i've finally tasted sadness  — the kind that really consumes you whole and makes your insides ache almost irrationally, unfathomably; the kind that keeps you up at 2am with your brain mass producing thought after thought until you wake up the next morning with tear-blotched eyes and a long day ahead of you

it's the kind of sadness that stays quite palpably there; the kind of sadness that eventually wears you out to the very cusps of breaking and the most infuriating thing of all is that you don't know why

it's the kind of sadness that leads you to crave for company, only for you to realize that maybe you haven't really got anyone to rely on after all
the kind that makes you realize how alone you really are
how alone you probably will be in this life


i feel like i'm slowly collapsing into myself with each passing day