of your eyes, begonia skies

is being completely devoid of any kind of feeling in any shape or form...really a state of bliss? is being numb really a blessing? your feelings are a part of you and you are entitled to every single thing you've felt because they define you, just the way your habits and your inhibitions do..but why has it come to a point that we start to deny ourselves of them? it's so, so frightening how the vast intensity of feelings can have the capacity to destroy, how we sometimes get so used to feeling a certain way we become numb to feeling anything at all.

i don't know if there's one thing i've learnt i've come to a point that i can't cry anymore. that tears no longer relinquish me the way they used to and i don't know what to do with myself i need a new coping mechanism it's my fault fuck i'm sorry just get me out of this i just don't ever want to feel it burn anymore get me out of this and i promise i will never feel again