thankful

feeling all sorts of things right now and should honestly go to bed soon but i feel this immense need to pen this down while i still have it in me — playing sports has really made me learn so, so, many things that i never thought i'd get to experience firsthand and it is truly my honor to be even given such an opportunity that i dare say i'd never want to learn any other way
long distance running has taught me so many things about resilience and strength that extends beyond beating records and reaching personal bests because there's so much more than that, it's about carrying on despite every muscle in your body telling you not to, it's about carrying on despite the fact that there are a million voices calling you to stop because what keeps you alive and what keeps you going in the most crucial moments aren't moments of glory and fame but it's an undying spirit that you know lives within your every throbbing vein and you know it's not something that anyone could have, it's a fierce determination within you that forces you to never, ever give up and you know it — you'll go far one day.

today i learnt a different kind of lesson — some things in life just never go quite as planned, and that is how painfully unpredictable life can be, there are moments where it hits you real hard in the ass and you flinch a little, sometimes it stings a little more than it should, but take it in your stride with everything that you've got and don't ever, ever, ever let it conquer you.

today i learnt it the tougher way — i used to beat myself up for not being half as good as i'd like to be, for always, always paling in comparison, but today i also learnt that your self worth isn't measured by how far you go or how fast you go but the way you go about it — and i say this with conviction: i will be back, better, faster and stronger for this isn't a battle against anyone else, it's a battle against myself.

thank you thank you thank you i feel so, so, so immensely grateful for everyone who's been there for me — there's so much to glean from this wonderful, wonderful experience and tonight my heart feels so heavy with gratitude for you've been nothing but kind, supportive and genuine and i can't wish for nothing more but for it all to float back to you one day